Dear Legal System...F**k You

Going through a divorce is brutal. It is just brutal.

There are so many brutal pieces to it I can't even make a top 10 list of the most brutal.  But if I did "The Legal System" would certainly be up there in slots 1, 2 or 3.

It is slow, expensive, confusing, scary and doesn't always seem to make sense or serve justly.

I thought I was a shoe in for getting what I wanted deserved after my divorce. My husband had an affair. It was that simple. Actually nothing about it was simple, but simply put he was the one whose actions caused the split, so therefore I should get what I deserve and he should get what he deserves....it doesn't work that way.

New York is a no fault state, meaning no where during our divorce proceedings would it come up that Mr. Little put his Mr. Little in someone else while we were still married.

Originally I had wanted to move back to my hometown, about 150 miles from where we lived as a family...but Mr. Little said no, so I was stuck. Injustice number one. Why does he get to say no? Didn't he loose his rights when he chose to break our vows? Nope.

Then I had wanted the children to be with me more of the time. They had always spent more time with me due to his work schedule. Why should it change now? He said no. Injustice number two. 

Finally I wanted some sort of financial support from him to care for said children, stay in our house etc. He didn't feel he should have to pay, so yet again, I was asked to reconsider the amount. Injustice number three.

If I let myself, I start to go down this tunnel of "that's not fair". Just like what my five year old says when I tell her no candy before dinner "that's not fair". He had an affair, remained in what appeared to be a happy relationship with this woman (I can only hope it's actually miserable), didn't really deal with anything pertaining to the children as far as school, clothes, lunches etc., left our home and got a new apartment that he furnised with half our furniture and went on his merry way. SO NOT FAIR!

I have heard from so many people that his time will come and that walking through the storm is way harder than walking around it. But once the storm hits him he will crumble and fall...

We head to court on monday to hopefully come to some agreement on child support and custody. I'm so scared. I'll keep you posted...