Dating

I'm dating...or trying to at least.

It's honestly hilarious. I often wish I could smuggle a girlfriend in my pocket so she could see what I am experiencing on these dates as a 33 year old single mother who hasn't dated in as long as I can remember.

I'll give you a quick run down of some of the men, boys, guys that I have come into contact with so far. Some will have the pleasure of an entire blog post (maybe more) dedicated just to them, some will come and go as quickly as your attention span. Don't blink, you might miss them.

1. The first one..my post divorce soul mate: About 2.5 months after walking away from my marriage I went to NYC to hang out with some old college friends. The plan? Get drunk, go shopping, kiss a boy. All was accomplished, but I never meant to fall in love...

2. Gay and didn't know it guy: We met online, chatted for a few weeks and planned to meet, but schedules, illness and kids kept us from actually seeing one another in person. Until I was at a press conference for work and he walked right up to me and introduced himself as my online friend. I quickly realized several things. 1. OMG this is the online guy 2. He's really short 3. He's gay and doesn't know it.

3. I make $131,000 a year and drive an awesome truck guy: Was he trying to impress me? Did he grow up poor and this was a big deal to him? Does he have a small penis? What was all this bragging about? I'm not quite sure, but he was intense and so he had to go.

4. The Bachelor: Ah, The Bachelor...So far he's my favorite. Awesome to look at...I mean hot. Good job. Tall. And a big silver watch (it's my thing). I describe him to people like this "when he walked into Starbucks (why not combine my favorite venti non fat vanilla latte with an awkward, yet safe first encounter--am I right?) I could literally hear Taylor Swift playing in the background "I knew you were trouble when you walked in...so shame on me now"...but I didn't don't care...he's yummy.

5. Lacrosse coach: He was cute, nice, we laughed....but I was preoccupied with The Bachelor, so it was never going to work.

6. The Tinders: Tinder is the most superficial dating app I have ever seen in my life. It's also super fun to use when out with friends and drinking. I have "connected" with like 100 guys on tinder, some for 5 minutes, some for up to a week (that's a long time in Tinderville!). I can't tell you any of there names because I didn't care enough to remember.

7. The Untouchables: I have a couple of guys in my life who I just have plain old crushes on...and yet they are untouchable. I am definitely not dating them, and never will, but they make the list anyway :)

8. The Single Dad: He was so great. A single Dad of two. He came over, we cooked dinner, bashed our exes, bragged about our kids and ate like kings! It was a fabulous night with someone who felt like an old roommate from long ago. We were never going to be a love connection, but have stayed in touch and text every now and then.

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