Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Dear God...Let it be a brain tumor.



I remember thinking praying, that I had come up with the reason why this had happened. It was so obvious and made so much sense--a brain tumor.

It sounds silly now even as I type it, but at the time I had literally convinced myself that my husband, the perfect man and father, could not possibly have done these things on his own accord. There had to be a medical explanation as to why and it was in fact a brain tumor.

Yes. A brain tumor.

A huge mass that had taken over his right cerebral cortex or some other medical term I had heard used on Grey’s Anatomy. 

No such luck. 

It turns out he was just a regular man, with insecurities and fears who I suppose at some point had fallen out of love with me. For him it was easier to move on with someone else who “had time to tell him how special he was” than to deal with me, our family and our marital problems. 

It is to this day something I cannot understand. I have stopped trying. I will never understand that kind of behavior because I would never act that way. 



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